In an effort to unwind, I recently watched a movie that I thought would be light entertainment before I called it a night. I was wrong. The overarching theme was if you were given the opportunity to know that you would die in 10 minutes (whether by a crash, illness, etc.), what would you have left to say to someone? Who would that someone be? And what if your only means of communication was a hand-written note that would be delivered after your passing — what would your message say?
Around 2 a.m., I was still awake with my thoughts. Turning on a small lamp, I collected a notepad and pen and stared at a blank page. I wrote one word. Minutes passed before something else appeared on the page: droplets. I put the notepad down, realizing I couldn’t add more than what was said and felt within each tear that covered one simple but life-fulfilling word: Thankful.
I pray I have left nothing unsaid or to question. I’ve poured love into my “whos” without reservation and with delight for as long as I have been blessed to know them. And I’ve had the joy and honor of loving family and friends, whether they live near or far, were with me for a season or a lifetime; my love goes beyond goodbyes.
Death is a timestamp, but love is timeless. Upon my passing, my love will only grow deeper, wider, and stronger with the eternal breath of Heaven. And my “whos” will continue to find me not only in their very being but in their views: sunflowers, daisies, haystacks, the color yellow, and so on. And I know my “whos” will reunite with me in different ways until the time we are joined in reverence together in Heaven.
Suffering the passing of a loved one is extremely painful, an unfortunate cost of truly loving, yet, we pay the cost knowing the price. Why? Because to love and be loved, to see and be seen, to laugh and to cry, to be silly and serious, quiet and moody, scared and hopeful, doubtful and confident; yes, to be able to share and do life with someone is an honor — a true, pure honor, despite our many imperfections.
To love so deeply and genuinely that you will have someone to miss from soul to skin one day makes wanting to love them today all the more important. Please do not leave things left unsaid or to doubt. This holds true to the way you think about yourself as well. Life is lived one moment at a time, with a beginning and an end to each minute. May we live with intention and attention to what matters most.
Forgive — yourself and others (even if you never get an apology).
Create — experiences, memories, and healing spaces.
Sing — birds don’t audition to sing; they sing whether they have the prettiest voice or not. Sing when you are alone if you must but make it one heck of a concert. Stop saying you cannot sing.
Stop doing less than you are capable of — “less” can often be more appealing because it is less intimidating and comes with a lower risk of failure. Practice failing with the mindset of learning and not comparing, and you will eventually find yourself succeeding. Live into your potential.
Be in the picture — who cares about your hair, crooked smile, teeth color, size, or outfit? Life is not a dress rehearsal: you show up as you are. Pictures are often looked upon as illustrative love notes. Trust me, the person viewing pictures of you after you have passed could not care less if you look put together; they just need to feel close to you so they don’t fall apart.
Invest — in yourself and others. Be generous with learning and listening and stingy with judging and boasting.
Save wisely — know when to use your voice and when to save it.
Accept change — as life continues, our abilities and tastes change. It is okay to pare down belongings that no longer belong. The value of such things does not diminish by letting them go. Honor the space they hold in memory and make space for new growth and new memories. Do what you can where you are in life. Try not to pine for yesterday or rush into tomorrow.
Water your soul — a soul in drought makes your entire life deficient. Flavor your life with peace of mind, positivity, and perseverance. Bathe your mind and heart daily in the Word of God. Free your soul to be captivated by God’s attention. And pray with a spirit of praise, acknowledging the character of God and trusting Him with your specific concerns.
What if you had a blank page and a pen before you right now and were given the opportunity to spend 10 minutes writing a message? Who would it be addressed to? What would it say? Friend, please do not leave anything left unsaid or to doubt.
Tiffany Kaye Chartier
SGLY, dear reader.
(Smile, God Loves You.)
Tiffany Kaye Chartier, Author 